Introducing the "I Took the Batteries Out of My Biological Clock and Put Them in My Vibrator" T-Shirt — because some of us don’t hear ticking, we hear buzzing. This isn’t just a funny slogan tee. It’s a bold, feminist, unapologetically sarcastic declaration of independence from outdated expectations, unsolicited opinions, and the constant cultural pressure to reproduce.
This hilarious and empowering Unisex Softstyle T-Shirt is perfect for women who are done being polite about their lifestyle choices. It's made for the childfree champions, the reproductive rebels, and the ones who know exactly what brings them joy. Whether you’re marching for rights, laughing with friends, or just running errands with a smirk, this tee is your go-to uniform for letting the world know that your life is full: just not of diapers and playdates.
Crafted from 100% ethically sourced ring-spun cotton, this tee is as soft as your favorite blanket and as strong as your resolve not to attend another gender reveal party. Its classic fit and crew neckline offer effortless style, comfort, and just the right amount of sass.
And yes, it pairs beautifully with confidence, sarcasm, and a glass of wine.
Who Is This For?
The feminist icon in your friend group
Anyone who’s tired of being asked “When are you having kids?”
Women who understand that joy doesn’t have to come from a nursery — it can come from Amazon's adult section
Fans of funny pro-choice t-shirts, childfree humor clothing, and clever feminist apparel
Why You'll Love It:
A hilarious conversation starter at brunch, happy hour, or awkward family dinners
Childfree and proud? Wear it like armor.
A+ gift for birthdays, bachelorette parties, or celebrating another year of not giving in to the pressure
Makes your position on parenting very, very clear — without even opening your mouth
Pairs well with sarcasm, feminism, and a well-charged battery
