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Sarcastic T-shirt: I Love Contributing to Low Birth Rates

Sarcastic T-shirt: I Love Contributing to Low Birth Rates

Regular price $17.00 USD
Regular price Sale price $17.00 USD
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Finally, a shirt that screams "patriotism—but make it childfree, sarcastic, and slightly unhinged (in a good way)."
The “I ❤️ Contributing to Low Birth Rates” Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee is your bold response to the great American pastime of asking, “So, when are you having kids?”,usually right after they vote for someone who thinks women are incubators with legs.

This isn’t just a t-shirt, it’s a political statement, a lifestyle declaration and your personal love letter to bodily autonomy. Whether you’re dodging diaper duty or escaping the dystopia of forced birth politics, this tee says, “Nah, I’m good.”

Wrapped in patriotic red, white, and blue irony, this shirt is ideal for anyone who loves their country but also believes in climate change, reproductive rights, and not bringing kids into a system run by orange-tinted authoritarians.

Perfect for:

  • July 4th barbecues where you're the only one not chasing a toddler or clinging to a beer-soaked flag.

  • Thanksgiving dinners with conservative uncles who think birth control is a government conspiracy.

  • Pro-choice rallies, feminist book clubs, or just casual Target runs in your blue state safe zone.


Product Features:

  • 🇺🇸 Heavy cotton fabric: Strong enough to withstand heated family debates and Supreme Court rulings.

  • 💪 Shoulder tape: For bearing the weight of other people’s opinions—and ignoring them all.

  • 🧵 Ribbed collar: Holds shape longer than most political promises.

  • 🌈 Smooth print surface: Great for loud fonts and louder messages.

  • 🔥 Unisex fit: Because gender roles are out, and self-expression is in.


Celebrate your freedom to not reproduce, your love of satire, and your disdain for forced-parenthood policies wrapped in the flag. This shirt makes the perfect gift for liberals, feminists, introverts, and anyone who believes that babies are optional—but sarcasm is essential.

Wear it. Live it. Vote accordingly.

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